Estoy buscando para..

...what? Time and time again I ask myself this question. What am I looking for in this world that makes me go on these trips, see what i see, and think these things? I have everything i need in the united states, right? I have a family who Loves and supports me, friends to keep me alive, a good education in which i can go on to make a good life for myself and my future husband/kids. I can retire at the age of 65 knowing a will have a secure future with my 401-K and grandkids, volunteering and joining a red hat club with my other 65 year old friends. I could send out Christmas cards ever year with a typed up letter about how awesome my family is. I could make new friends depending on where i live, and sadly loose touch with the old ones, but as long as i am safe and secure, thats ok.

Although I am stereotyping a bit, this is basically the average life of an american (a quote from Trainspotting is going through my head right now). This is a grad life for most, full of security and fun. However, this is not the life for me. I cannot picture myself following this path. I want more. I want adventure, i want Love and passion, i want to fight for human beings... no i don't want. I need. I need adventure and Love and passion and a fire in my soul. I need to know that I am doing absolutely all i possibly can with my life to enjoy every morsel of this earth. I need to see, to touch, to taste, to learn, to fail, to cry, to life how i need to live.

This is what i have discovered about myself in the past year, since those life changing 13 days i spent in Nicaragua. There is only one problem right now. I don't quite know how to live the way i need. I think this expierence in the beautious land of Perú will help me, but how? How do i live the way i need to live?

This weekend was really wonderful for many reasons, and here they are:
1) La festividad de San Sebastian
2) Nuestro primero proyejto
3) Los Empacadores versus Los Osos

1) Corey and Kelsey live in a town that had a festival celebrating St. Sebastian this Thursday. They had gone during the day and raved about it, so the other nueve of us decided that that would be a really really cool way to celebrate the night, or at least start it off ;-) So we all went, and admired the music, dancing and costumes. It was really wonderful to see such a strong celebration that has clearly been happening for hundreds of years. We wandered around a bit to meet up with Andy and Matt, and met up with more than just them. A few peruanos who had had a bit more to drink than their compañeros came and started talking with us. Of course they went to Erich first, who makes friends everywhere, and then some of them started dancing with us, Caitlin and Laura first, but slowly they made their way around and danced with many of us. All of a sudden, out of no where came a lady who was about 4' 11'' and started dancing with all of us. She woudl pull two or three of us into a circle and we woudl just move. When those three were moving she would go to someone else. If the previous three stopped she woudl go and dance with them again. "Gracias, muchos gracias," i said. "Bienvinedos," she said, "a perú. De mi corozon, bienvenidos." Then before we knew it, we had a circle of peruanos around us, watching us gringos dance and laugh. Then we all ended up in the middle of the crowd, dancing with even more peruanos right infront of the band.

The lady misterioso dancing with Mateo

Who does that? What kind of lady ups and leaves her family and friends at a pretty big deal celebration to dance with a bunch of gringos and welcome them to their country? The feelings i was having during the whole thing were... wow. Really thats all. Wow.

2) The reason I picked ProWorld for my study abroad 'venture was for the volunteering. Sight seeing is one things, partying is another, but connecting and helping random strangers in a country you barely know the language in is a definite nother, and in my opinion, its really the only way to truly experience the country you are traveling too, or living in. So us 11 plus a few more piled unto a bus that drove to Occoruru, the town ProWorld will be helping this year with their vivienda saludable. We were the first volunteers to meet the people of Occoruru and start on the projects. What we did on sabado was called "mapping." Basically, we asked the people what they want their houses to look like in the future. Kelsey and I had a group of 5 men, all of them representative of their family. Roughly speaking, they all had the same thing, and wanted the same thing. They had a house of sleeping, and a house for cooking, and a pipe of water coming up from the ground. They wanted a stable for their animals, one for the cuy, one for the hembras, and one for the gallina (guinnie pig, cows, and chickens). They wanted a better working kitchen, more rooms to sleep in, a jardin (garden), a patio, and a bathroom. One man, Sixto Año (idk if thats how you spell his name, but thats how you say it) wanted "un baño con ducha, inodoro, y fregadero" ( a bathroom with shower, toilet, and sink). In my mind i said "Claro, of course." Thinking, what else would this man want in a bathroom, thats what all bathrooms have.

Una casa en Occoruru

But then i thought again. This man has never had a bathroom. Never. How would he know whats in a typical bathroom. Thats when i got really excited. We would be the people to help him build his dream bathroom. We would be the ones to help all these families get what is literally bear necessities to us.

3) Mateo, Andrés, y yo fuimos a Nortons Pub por mira el partido de Americano Fútbol. The playoff game between the GB Packers and Chi-town Bears. We were joined by some other volunteers, french fires, and beers, and my favorite American ritual comenzado. The Bears fans were in the front of the bar, and the packers in the back. Idk if you all watched the game, but the bears didn't do anything till the last quarter, so the back of the bar was quite happy and loud for the first part of the game. It was quite fun, talking and laughing with my new found friends, going to a bar to watch a game for the first time in my life, and enjoying the thrills of a football game. With roughly 7 min left in the 4th cuarto, the satellite giving us our reception failed. Someone, i think it was Corey, said "Matt you have a computer and internet." "So?" Matt inquired, "So lets watch the game!" I said. We logged onto NFL.com and watched as the news feed renewed itself and renewed itself, telling us what had happened. Well, and interception and a touch down happened. Matt announced it and we continued to watch and the packers crowd form the back dragged chairs over and watched the tiny little screen and listened to Matt and I announce what was going on. It was quite fun, we cheered booed, and made fun of the others favorite team. Talking with other travelers is another great thing about traveling. Learning where they come from, whey they are traveling, what they have or have not done. Very intriguing.Me at the top of the templo de luna on the hike we took today. Looking for....

Many of the people there (all gringos, claro) said that they lived here. The were traveling for years and are now here. They live here. They left America, and live here. The love football, a very VERY all american sport, and live here, in South America.

I loved this weekend. Loved it. I even left out many a thing in these descriptions that we did because there is so much to talk about. I know that i Loved this weekend for these reasons. But did i Love this weekend just for these reasons, or because this is how i need to live?