Verano Dosmil Once

So Vermont. Yeah its really green. And really bare. And there is no civilization for a good portion of the state. And every time we want to go somewhere we have to go to NH (sigh.... NH :-) )

Session 1 of Camp Akeela was not what i had in mind. It wasn't as much fun as i thought it would be. I really didn't have a ton of friends there, our bunk was 14-16 year old caddy girls, one in particular was EXTREMELY difficult to handle EVERDAY. It's also weird being there. In Peru, yes i was cut off from communication with my friends and family in the US, but i was not cut of AT ALL from the world. We had interenet. Thiugh shitty, we still had it. I was imersed in the news ans politics of Peru and Latina America. I had so much knowledge at my fingertips, and my mind was bursting with new questions and knowledge everyday. At my Camp in Vermont, there is NO connection to the outside world. The internet is ALMOST as bad as Perú's. And there is only a 5 minute limit on compy time. No cell phone service, and the one land line we can use also has a 5 minute limit on it. I WANT my friends and Peru and life outside of camp, but i really, CAN NOT get it.

Session 2 has been much better, My best friend from Camp Livy, is one of my co counselors. I'm with the 10 and 11 year old girls, I have met some other GREAT people, one who also goes to UNH so we will be hanging out much in. But still. All those things i realized and lived for in Perú..... can't do them ay camp.

17 days till my next adventure to Keuka lake, then i will FINALLLLLLLLYYYYY move into my apt and see MEGAN and other people i LOVE.

Creer

Maybe it's because i had an absolutely 1.5 hour skype conversation with Laura about the world and our ideas and goals today. Maybe it's because my cousin Frank and I and Andy had beautiful talks and shared our stories of our past experiences. Maybe because i read V for Vendetta in 3 days and my head is swimming with its message as I think also about Watchmen and what an amazing impact that had on my life as well. Who knows. All i know is that my head hasn't been this full and this confused since I was in Perú, and i need to write.

I think I am done writing about Perú. I know i had a few more bullet points on that list, and maybe one day i will get to it, but i don't like saying "today was monday. andy and i went to lima. we went to a museum. it was interesting." If you like reading that, you have picked the wrong girl's thoughts to read. I like writing about how i feel, what i have realized about myself and the world, what i have learned. I like saying things like "Out of all of our time in Lima, we only saw 10 people dressed in traditional peruvian quechua clothes. 2 of them were clearly hired by a restaurant to lure in tourists. 5 of them were either coming out of the airport or entering it. the other 4 were with people not dressed in peruvian clothes, but mondern clothes covered in english words."

But thats not why i am writing today. I am writing because of the words wanting to burst out of my head. The words that i don't know how to form right now, but will try with my terrible grammar and spelling.

What are we living for? What do we, as people in the united states, the wealthiest, most opportunistic, and most technologically advanced nation in the world, have to live for? There are many answers to this question. I'm pretty sure every person i know has a different answer. We live for our family, our friends, our passions wether it be a job or a hobby. there are so many things to live for! But really... think about it. WHAT is it that makes us GO, that makes us THINK and DO? What is that internal mechanism that makes us wake up and go everyday and LIVE. The answer to this is simple. Ourselves. I live for me and by me and you life for you and by you and she by herslef and him for himslef and it for itself. This quote from V for Vendetta describes what i am trying to describe

"How. How did i get here, to this stinking place: my job, my life, my conscious, my prison. The answer is here written on the floor for me to read, but i don't UNDERSTAND it. Why can't I? I look at this mad pattern but where are the answers? Who imprisioned me here, who keeps me here? Who can release me? Who's controlling and constraining my life, except........ Me?

Me.

I'm free."

There is also another part of the book that talks about values and principles. I am a person. I have beliefs and ideas that i live by, that i believe so strongly in that i would do anything for them. I am my own controler of my own dystany and if i can't live for what i believe in, what is the point of living? I'm not saying this to sound sad or depressiong or mean, but there are to may united statesians who live without drive, passion, and beliefs. They would sell out for money, power, or societal pressures in a second. Many people assume that we live in a time of democracy and free will, "Yay America!" When I came back from Perú one thing was clear, we DO have wars to fight. We are not and i don't think (sadly) there will ever be a time when we have no wars to fight. Just because there is more freedom in our lives now then ever before, it doesn't me that A)everyone is like us and B)there is no room for more freedom. We live in a society that is bound by consumerism and materials and WANTS not NEEDS. And if i want freedom from that, i get weird looks and judgments.

Right now, i have no idea where our life goes. If i close my eyes and look 5 years down the road... i see nothing but possibilities, nothing concrete. But i know i will ALWAYS stick to what i believe in, hold tight to my dreams, and live for myself. Just doing that will better the world in more ways than i will be able to see.

ya viajando...

I write this post from Durham, NH. In the last week I have been in Durham, the beaches of maine on the atlantic ocean, mass, bow nh, portsmouth, keene, and newmarket. In 8 days i will be in chicago, and in 19 days i will be in vermont. Thats the thing about traveling. Once you start you can't stop. I don't mind living out of my car, and there is something nice knowing your can house/cough surf over large parts of the United States because your friends are amazing people.

My first stop on this travel was Maine. Where i was reunited with the most amazing people in the world: The nicaragua group. Rachael's grandparents have a very old hunting lodge on Georgetown island of Maine. It is RIGHT ON THE OCEAN. And it was more beautiful than i could have ever imagined. Rachael, Hannah, Sarah, Andy, and me were there for most of the time, then Edmoundson joined us for just a night and Charlie who was going to just stay with us for once day, ended up staying with us for 2, when he lost his keys in the ocean... tehehe. It was wonderful to be in the presence of these people again. The energy, and the silent understanding we have of eachother and what we say. These are some of the only people i know that i can say ANYTHING too, and i know that not only will i be judged or made fun of, but they will UNDERSTAND because they have been there, and they know what im going through. So day 1, rachael got the worst sunburn of her life because all we did all day was frolic and walk. Day 2 was 1000 piece puzzel day (never again) and day 3 we headed on back.

Then Andy and I went to my grandma's house in melrose MA to pick up some furniture and listen to her tell stories of when she went to italy but when she showed us her pictures from italy... she had no idea where there were from. Then we drove to Bow and hung out with Andy's family/cats, visited TONY!!!, i went to Evan's house, and now im in durham, I have to say, i really do Love nh, especially when compaired with NY. Yesterday i went to the beloved town of portsmouth and talked for 2.5 straight hours with estephanie. And today i'm moving into my apartment.

But of course, i still have much to write about in the Perú story. There are many bullet points that i have not covered, so here is a few in one.

What we did from the Incan trail-the return to the US:

When we came back from the Incan trail, we only had 1 full week of class left (oh man, this seems like forever ago). Not many of us went to our internships that week. I know for me, that was the week i realized i only had a short period of time left with my mother. I spent that week learning to cook some peruvian dishes, and hanging out with the people from our group. Laura and Erich brought me to their friend's house, Irma and Tim. Irma is a fantastic artist, and i bought some beautiful peruvian art from her. Spencer and Erich had their joint b-day bash at their house (there mom is a professional cook... we were all in heaven). That night Laura and I went to her house and put hairwraps in eachothers hair. It was so much fun!! We just talked and braided...so wonderful We all went to our favorite places to eat throughout the week, and on thursday night we had our going away party. All of the families had to bring some kind of food (my mom baked pie de manzana) and we had a pot luck dinner. Then Andy volunteered us to dance salsa infront of everyone for some entertainment. We did ok. My mom was actually really proud of us, she kept on saying "Ella es MI hijita! Mi hija!" That weekend was our last double project weekend, where like i said they had a HUGE party for us for all the help we did, and the very next day Andy and i went water rafting, then we had our last classes and goodbyes to almost everyone. Then a handful of us (Maria, Adam, Andy, Alyssa, Kat, and Crystal) went to our desert adventure. Nazca was our first stop, were we flew over the incredible Nazca lines is a 6 seater plane and DID NOT fall out of the sky, saw some mad awesome mummies and bones and graves in the middle of the desert, and chilled in a really differnt Plaza de Armas de Cusco. the next day was Ica, were we explored the city a tad, went on a tour of a winery where we might have been discriminated against (look at Raciscmo? post) and went to Huacachina (that was the oasis) where we walked around for 2 hours looking for a place to sleep. There was no hotel that could hold 7 people. So.... we went to a hostel that had places to camp out back, and borrowed a man's 7 person tent, put it up using nothing but electrical wire, trash, ductape and belts, and slept there. When i say slept, i mean the music from the back of the hostel where there was a party did not stop. ALL NIGHT. Thank god for earplugs. The next day we sand buggied and sand boarded for 2 whole hours. Then we made our pilgrimage out to Paracas, where we explored a beach town. The next day was out boat tour out to the Balistas Islas, islands only inhabited by sealions penguins and birds, and old buildings where they used to take bird poo and use it to make explosives. Then we just palled around paracas and ica till we took a 9pm which didn't show up till 11pm bus home.

Back in Lima, andy and i did some souvenir shopping, said buy to jennie and kelsey, and hung out with our families for 2 days before leaving for Lima.

Ok more later. i just finished the post and then blogger deleted it.... and this is why i dislike computers

Uhhhhhh......¿como?......¿donde estoy?

And.......it just hit me. I’m home. I’ve been home for about...2 weeks now and it just now hit me. I was moving my collected Peruvian money into it’s permanent home (the coin purse I used in Peru) and it suddenly hit me...holy **** (trying to cut out the swearing, I can’t really do that anymore now that people understand English)....I’m home. I mean, I used to use these coins just two weeks ago. Now I look at Unitedstatian Money and it looks completely foreign to me. I from now on refuse to call myself an American because America encompasses two continents and 35 states. Obviously I didn’t know how many countries were in the Americas, so I wikapediad it and found that out. As I was searching I saw that Americas is used to talk about North and South while America is used to talk about the United States. I feel like after my experience North and South America should be referred to as one sole entity, America. Now I know what you’re thinking, Andy, you can’t just change English just because you want to be more fair and look past the idea that there is no America besides the United States- but I think I’ll give it a try. The reason why I choose to do this is because in español, hay una palabra para una persona de los Estados Unidos (estadounidense) y una otra para el continente de américa. There is one word in Spanish for a person from the United States specifically; to say you are an American means nothing, because in Spanish, America is North and South combined.
That was quite a rant, but I feel like when I want to talk about something, it always comes out like that. Back to the Peruvian money (and why I started blogging in the first place). I just couldn’t believe that I was holding currency, which two weeks ago I lived on and it was completely useless now (well, I collect money so it’s useful for my memories and all that sappy goodness). It all of a sudden hit me like a giant wave. I used to live in another house, have a different bed, a different family, etc....... Now I look around at my house and I realize what that funny feeling was when I arrived here. It was like I was in someone else’s house. Yes, my family was here, the fluffies, Chester and S’mores were all here, but it was the house that felt weird. It wasn’t the people (it was like I just left them) it was the material items all around my house that felt weird. I don’t really know how to explain it (I think I’m still figuring stuff out myself), but soon I’ll be able to describe how I’m feeling.
I’m now thinking of all the things I used to do in Peru. Walking to the Combies, passing Friendly Dog, taking a combi....everything. If I were to list the things going through my head it would be longer than all of Libby’s posts put together (well, they might be close). It was just a shock to me when it all of a sudden hit me. Right after that sudden rush, I plugged in my computer and it sparked. It made me think about how every time I plugged anything in to a socket in Peru, it would spark. I miss those couple melted sockets I saw. I miss the sparking (it’s really quite friendly when you get used to it). What I don’t miss.....Electric showers. Worst invention ever. Honestly, who thought “hey I got a great idea! Let’s heat the water with electricity! Those two elements are completely compatible right?!” what’s even worse is that you know there were multiple people around him or her who said, “that’s an awesome idea!!, no one will ever get hurt!”. I didn’t even have an electric shower in my house (well, actually I don’t really know how my shower worked, I just know it never shocked me). The only time I used one was at my host grandparents’ house. I got shocked twice in the span of about 20 seconds. The first time I wasn’t quite sure what happened, so I did the smart thing and I put my hand back to the very spot where I felt that weird tingly sensation. Needless to say, I got shocked again....

Well, that’s all for now. If you couldn’t follow it, don’t worry, I didn’t even read 99% of what I wrote. Para ahora, chau. Voy a publicar más in el futuro. Espero que vaya a publicarla muy muy pronto. Quiero escribir más in español, pero no tengo más para decir. Las niñas tienen dos bicicletas. Je suis la jeune fille (esta es francés).

Los Españoles y su objectivo: Oro, Gloria y Dios

Ok so here it is, the dirty, what i have learned about the Spanish Conquistadores and the aweful AWEFUL way they took control of the Inca empire and people. The first thing that the spanish wanted to do was to conquer new lands in the new world. Everyone else was doing it, so why not the spaniards? Once they had conquered the NEW land in the name of THEIR land they started on their main quest: Gold. And if not gold, Sliver. Or aluminum or jewels or natural resources. A very informative book "The open veins of Latin America" that i am currently reading basically said that the spaniards took EVERYTHING they could possibly get their hands on took it back to the mother land. They treated the indigina like absolute crap. They sent them into coal mines with nothing and the indigina would die withing a couple years due to the 1001 complications of coal dust or gas fumes. And they didn't care. When one died they would just take an 11 year old from the arms of their mother and send the off to their death. And for once in my life, i am not exaggerating. This is exactly what happened. The spanish took everything they could grab with their small greedy hands while sleeping around with any indigina they saw to dilute the indigina blood. Did you know the Inca were on average 6ft (roughly)? Now, the Peruvian people are the shortest in the world. Where did that come from.

Ok so that covers the "glory" and the gold... now the god. Now i just want to say before I begin this section that religion is wonderful. I think Jesus is a very wonderful man who came to this world preaching of Loving thy neighbor and peace to all nations, two VERY meaningful and important issues that we still deal with today. And you know, if those spanish would have once listened to one word that came out of what Jesus said, they would not conquer a country for "God". "God" doesn't want land. "God" doesn't care what kind of god or goddesses of gods the people on this earth believe in. If the catholic "God" is really as Loving and patient and kind as they claim him to be, why did the pope of the catholic government bless the boats and the conquistadores when they said "we are going to make these people be something theu don't want to be." Did the incans force people to join their religion? No. Its true that the incans made the people the took over to become and Incan, but that didn't involve gold, glory, or god. That involved land to plant crops and people to fight for their army. From the mouth of my very peruvian mother "The spainars killed everyone who wasn't going to be catholic. They would cut out their tongues, gouge out their eyes. The people were scared. And that's why so many people in Peru are catholic today." Did you know that the first cross that the spainards brought over to Peru to try to convert their barbarians or savages was just a cross, no Jesus in sight? Do you know why? It is because the preist thought the Inca would see the catholic religon as barbaric and savige like.

Freddy, our tour guide on the incan trail, said that the worst people to bring on the incan trail were the spanish. Anytime he brings up the spanish taking control of the Inca empire, they alwasy jump to spain's defense. "We brought civilization to this country!" they would say. "Without us Perú would have nothing." Excuse me? Perú would have everything if you loosers hadn't of come in!!!!! Did anyone take over your country and take everything that could have made you profitable in the world market? The spainish stole everything from Perú. Why is Perú so poor and why is it so hard for them to raise up? Cause the Spanigh, and the US for that matter, and Britian too took EVERYTHING from them.

If this is what it means to he rich, proud, and religions than i want NONE of that. Gold does not mean you are rich, Love does. Glory does not mean you are powerful, Love does. And as for God, i want nothing to do with the catholic church. Yeah, as of now most peruvians would not like me if i was not catholic, but i want nothing to do with an institution that kicks other people into the ground just to become more powerful. I believe in Love, and pachamama. Jesus was a great guy and i believe in everything he said. Whatever kind of god there is looking down on us, i believe in him her or them. But i do not want anything to do with the catholic church.

Camino Inka

OK so thing number 1 i promised to talk about is: The incan trail. The pure amazingness of the incan trail, and arriving to machu piccuh. So it all started with a 5am very smelly bus ride (the porters were on the bus with us) with our amazing tour guide freddy zapata to KM-80. And it was beautiful. We started on a bright sunny day with blue skies and fluffy coulds. We got our passports stamped and starting walking for 2 easy hours, looking at the scenery, rejoicing in the excitment of what we were about to do. Freddy was an amazing tour guide and told us all about the many ruins, plants, and snow peaked mountains we passed along the way. Right before we got to the first less than easy part, Freddy stopped us all and gave us one of the most amazing pep talks of all time. I wish i had recorded it! It was something like.

"Ok, please guys, life, guys, is like the inca trail. You will go up and you will go down. You will be happy and you will be sad. You will laugh and you will cry. Sometimes you will meet mean people and other times you will meet the nicest people. There will be times that you will not think you can make it to the end, the nice comfortable end of machu piccuh, where we all want to get to. You need to keep trying and keep going. Never give up. Lets go guys."

Freddy has done to Camino Inka 323 times (more by now since he did more after us.) His first language is Quechua, and he is also fluent in Spanish and English. He Loves meeting people, his country, his people, and his life. i don't think i would have enjoyed the hike as much if he wasn't our guide.

So we kept walking for a few hours, then stopped for lunch at a camp site. Now, walking along with us, or should i say running along ahead of us, were the porters. Now these men work like horses basically, carrying 25kg of materials with them on their back, running to the next campsite to set up the tents and cook the food for all of us, then they pack up and head out before any of us. It's crazy what they can physically do, and i can't believe a job like that exists in the world. They are mostly quechua speaking men, like the ones we have worked with in occoruro. Actually one day in occoruro a family corey and i were working with were joking about porters they said "well we may be poor but at least we arn't porters." How interesting that they see that job almost the way i do too. Back to Lunch, among the porters is a chef, who cooks all the meals for everyone. I was expecting for lunch some rice and meat or poataoes, something usual like that for hiking. nope. we got a 3 course meal. 3 COURSES! and Juice to drink during the meal and tea after. It was unbelieveable, and completely unexpected. It was like that for every meal, even breakfast. AND we would have a tea time in the middle of the day as well. Matt said to me, after i said so many times i can't believe this, "This is Perú's star tourest attraction. Of course it is going to be like this."

We started up again, this time going up hill most of the time. It wasn't bad, just long. And it took a while to warm up too hiking with all your stuff for 4 days on your back, but by the time we got to the camp site for the night i wasn't hurting too bad.

Day 2 is the hardest day, and that was very true. We woke up, ate gourmet food, and hiked uphill for 3 hours. all stairs that are called the gringo killers. It was definitely hard, and i definitely enjoyed my break we we got to the top of dead woman's pass. The hardents part though was yet to come. stairs. for the next 4 hours all we did was walk (run) down and up stairs. It was killer on the joints and legs. i was sweating buckets and we were all panting. i personally enjoy going down the stairs more than going up, but that doesn't mean they feel any better on the legs. Our group was so fast that freddy said if we were willing to wait a little longer for lunch, we could countinue walking all the way to the campsite and eat lunch there, that way we wouldn't need to stop and start up again. When we got there, it was pretty dreary and gray and foggy, just like the whole day had been, but i felt good. and soar. I had carryed my back all by myself and gotten through the longest hardest day of hiking. Everything else would be easy after this for the next two days. We all sat around and slept and ate three meals (tea time is pretty big). After dinner that night Freddy told ghost stories about spirits who have followed him on the incan trail, which made me stay up a little longer that night.

Day 3= not to bad. down hill alot and more tome for Freddy to do some more explaining of ruins plants and the incans. The Ruins were wondeful that we saw. Th ebest part of this day was... apparently our group was moving almost faster than any group of his previously. So he gave us the option of walking to machu piccuh today not TOMORROW but TODAY!?! and then we would spend the night in aguas calientes, wake up tomorrow morning and go up to machu piccuh and get tickets to hike huaina piccuh, the big mountian you see in all the famous machu piccuh pictures. If we were to do the regular 4 day incan trail, getting tickets to hike huaina piccuh would be near impossible, since only 400people can hike it a day and by the time we woudl get there all the tickets would be gone. We all said yes to this plan. We ate lunch and started walking to machu piccuh while all the other groups around s stayed behind. We were doing something that was never usually done! It was so unexpected. We literally RAN there. A 2.5 hour hike turned into a 1 hour one. We were all just so hyped up on adrenalin and excitement and food that we couldn't help but run the whole way there. Right before we got to the view of machu piccuh, we got the the sun gate. on every summer solstice (june 21) the sun will rise right over the sun gate and cast a perfect ray of light into the window of the temple of the sun. It is a stone structir of pillars, and can be seen from a distance while in the town of machu piccuh. It was INCREDABLE to walk through that gate and look down at one of the most amazing sights in the world. One of the 7 wonders.

We couldn't stay long in Machu piccuh that day cause we only had a one day pass, so we hiked closer to it, than out of the park. Some of us also only had the funds for one bus ride and we wanted to save that for tomorrow, so we climbed the stairs down to Aguas callientes we we found a cheep hotel and stayed the night.

Day 4. We rose at about 430 to get up to the top by 530 to get tickets and climb to the top of one of the most famous mountains in the world. It was awesome. The view from the top of huaina piccuh was spectacular, and we sat up there for quite a while. We then walked the ruins, sat, walked, talked about the incas, eventually walked down to aguas callientes (again) and sat for the train to leave.

Machu piccuh was a town made by the incas in the 1500s. It was a special town made between to Apus for suport and protection. People would walk there and make a pilgramge, just like we did. They hid it on purpose when the Spaniards came so there woudl be some city to come back to, that the spainairds didn't distroy. When it was discovered in 1914(?) by hirum bingam (did you know that indiana joans is based on him) it started being uncovered and researched immediately. Now it is the biggest attraction of all of Perú, and thousands of people go there a day to see it. And that is Machu Piccuh's biggest problem. Apparently the city is sinking due to the weight of the thousands of people who visit a day. The city was only built to hold 600, and many more than that walk the grounds of this place everyday. This got me thinking... how can it be that the Perú government hasn't done something about that yet? This is one of the most valuable ancient site in all of south america. What would happen one day if its gone? It it sinks between the mountains and into the rio urubamba below? If the lost city of the incans really becomes lost? And i saw it.

por vuelto

The following was written yesterday on the plane from Lima to Bogata:

Sometimes I feel traveling looses its lust after a while. Not the kind of traveling when you go to different places, but the kind of traveling when you are in an airport with 50kgs of luggage waiting in line for 2 hours to get in a plane where you will sit for 3 hours to have another 2 hour layover to get on another plane where it will be hard or imposible to sleep inly to go back to NYC, a miserably gray city where the people are everything but Peruvian.

I guess what I'm trying to say is. I don't wanna go back to the US. I wanna go home, to Cusco. I would gladly return to my life in cusco without os much as a second thought. I had a home base in Cusco where i slept, left my stuff. A plce where i could come back to becasue I had keys to this house. My mother cooked me meals everyday. I could travel anywhere with my starting point being in cusco and it was so safe and so secure. Starting the third weekof march i traveled somewhere every 5 days at the most. First was spring breakin Arequipa and Mollendo, then Manu, el glacier chicón, incan trail, doble project weekend, white water rafting, Nazca/Ica/Paracas, then Lima/Iquitos.

Now I'm sitting ona plane to Bogata throught the wonderful Avianca and my mind is full of thoughts, pecemistic, scared, and worried. Please excuse me while i eat my last cocoa candy.

I have learned so much since January 13th. SO MUCH. MUCHISIMO. And the things i have learned here did not com like a slap in the face, but over a long period of time which was slow, thoughtful, full of research and discussions and with some one in a million people. Here is what i have learned (and these arre just the BIG ones.)
-Español
-Patience
-Pride
-Trust
-Ican religion/PACHAMAMA

-Nature and Natural
-Sustainability


When i come back, i know how i need to live. How i have lived in college for the last 2.5 years has not been very sustainably, and I'm not just talking about saving Pachamama sustainability. Since freshman year, I have been getting up before 6 to workout every morning, going to class usually w/o food where i would obsess about getting nothing but a 4.0 4.0 4.0 and beat myself up about not getting it, come back to the dorm and worry about getting into a show or my social life or my job, do my work, go to bed late and eat junk because i was so hungry, eventually get sick from this lifestyle and promise myself i would never do that again, than start all over. "Oh the life of a college student," some would say. Well, not me. This is it. No more. I NEED to sustain myself before i can begin to sustain the environment and the world. But right now, I am so afraid that the old me will take over the me i have desarrollado en Perú. The me that i need to be. I have this amazing chance to start all over again, too add into my life the spanish language, patience, trust, living with strangers that will later turn into my best friends, and most important, being and living and loving like and with Pachamam: naturally.

As I fly over Perú for the last time for a long while. I look at the Andies mountains below. The setting sun at the other side of the plane makes the sky and clouds over the Andies, my home, pink and blue, and those two colors side by side blow my mind. Thank you, Perú, ProWolrd, and Pilar. I hope I can live up to everything you have taught me. I've lived and learned form you, and now i mist do so for and from myself.

The following i wrote right now:

And now I am home, and still full of stories and energy from Perú. For the next however many days it takes, i will be writing all the stories and thoughts that i have not written as of yet. See you all tomorrow!!!

Racismo?

So when we were in Ica on friday we went to one of the many vinyards that there are around and in the city. We did some wine and Pisco tasting. We went on a tour of the vinyard. We learned the difference between Pisco and Wine, 2 grape made drinks. (pisco is fermented distilled and wine is only fermented). And then we went to the resturant there is there. And we ordered food, and sat for 1.25 hours waiting for it. We watched a table of 35 get there food, we saw everyone who sat down after us get there food, we watched as new people sat down WAYYYYY after us and order there food. Then we asked were ours was, and they hadn't stated making it yet. after someone else in our group came up and compailed we got ONE dish to apease us. Then we payed for that one dish and left. Just left, after 1.5 hours. Then someone pointed out, we were the only white people in the place. Everyone else was a peruvian tourist, and they all got their food before we did. Is this why we didn't get it? They were waiting to serve everyone else until they served the gringos? I don't understand. I still don't understand how people can do a think like that "Oh they are white, they won't mind being served late."

It was here in Peru that i wished i could change the color of my eyes and hair. People just look at my face and see a blond blue gringo. The men need to stare and talk to me, where ever i go, and no matter how conservative my clothes are. I have been the minority here, and at some times its awful. The only time I have enjoyed having blue eyes here is when a little autistic boy at my internship held my face as he stared at my eye for a good 25 minutes. It was the first human being with blue eyes he had ever seen, and he was amazed.

And the sad thing is, i know that other people have felt how i feel x5,000,000. Look at our history of the world. There are so many examples of racism its ridiculous.

Sobreviviendo

Perú has yet to fail me in AMAZINGNESS. These last 4 days we have been traveling in the desert of Perú. We went to Nazca-Ica-Huacachina-Paracas and back again. The Nazca lines (ancient lines from pre incan times in shaped of animals and other things drawn in the sand) were more than we imagined. The town of Nazca was a ton of fun. Ica was HUGE and right in the middle of the desert, and the oasis of Huacachina -where we couldn't find a room because it was semana santa and apparently its the busiest travel days of the year and pitched a tent out of rocks poles and duct tape and slept in blankets Maria and Adam borrowed/stole from neighboring hostels- was not what was expected at all. It was like we were in the middle of the Sahara! Paracas was full of Peruvian tourists. It's beaches were full of sting rays and Adam got stung actually. And the Ballistas islands were full of sea lions and pegüínos. An amazing weekend. More to come when we get back to the states.

Coming back to Cusco after yet another amazing trip once again made me feel so at home, but this time its differnt. No Laura. No Matt. No ProWorld. No school. I feel alone and robbed. I had a life here, and just like that, its gone. I miss Laura. I miss Megan. I miss yoga. I miss Adam and Alyssa and Maria. I mis everything.

t-45 hours till our bus to Lima, then our flight to the Amazon jungle. Then I'll miss Cusco.

Lets listen to some patty griffin and right some thoughts. I got this e-mail from my mom today. She gets these inspiration quotes everyday in her e-mail and she sometimes sends them to me. A lot of times they are very very corny, but this one really related to what I have been going through lately.

Libby,

It's the way you think. That's your purpose. It's never been about what work you choose, what gifts you develop, or what niche you fill - let these be for your pleasure. Think as only you can think, which will lead to feelings that only you can feel, from which connections will be made, lives will be changed, and worlds will come tumbling into existence.
Thanks,
The Universe

P.S. Libby, this is why you're here.

What you think is what you think. Your thoughts, your TRUE THOUGHTS, rare sometimes, are what is in your head. This definitely related to today, and will relate to tomorrow, next Wednesday, and May 6^th.

That’s right I said my first Cusco goodbyes today. The were very different from my Occoruro goodbyes (I’ll save that epic story for another night), First was the ProWorld office and staff. We had our reintegration orientation or whatever you want to call it. We talked about the highs and lows of Cusco, who blogged and what that did for you, what were your biggest achievements. We wrote letters to ourselves that Lauren will be sending to us in6 months. And we talked about reverse culture shock. Its gonna happen to all of us when we go back. I’ve already dealt with the hardest part, and that was coming back from Nicaragua. If I can do that I can do anything. I COMPLEATLY changed my life into the person I am now, and I am very happy with that. Its gonna happen again. And I hope it will be easier to deal with. I have been here longer, reflected more, thought more. Then I said goodbye to Lauren and Eliza, the ProWorld Staff that has been SOOOOO wonderful throughout the whole time here. They really made my times her so great. They Love their work and being with us, and really try.

Then I had my last Spanish class and final exam and said a bye to my spanish teacher (YES!!!!!) And said a goodbye to CBC one last time. I also got some pastry from el citio and said bye to that. Then tonight….. I said goodbye to Karyn, Erich, and Laura. We went to the muse for drinks and some went to Bembos for food. Throughout my whole times here I didn’t really think about saying bye to Laura till it happened. We have SO much in common, and she has been my saving grace here sometimes when I felt like no one else was thinking like I was here. She has helped me to think and talj about what I really need to and want to, and has helped me become the person I am today, who I need to be. And now she will be spending 3ish more months here (she got a job w/ ProWorld!!!!!) and I will be in the states. And this made me think (this is where this relates to the inspirational quote.)

Why do I do this to myself? I put myself out of my comfort zone completely, learn a new culture and language, live with a family, and become a new person, if the only thing in the near future I see is hurt? I’m devastated I can’t sit in La Bondiet once a week and talk about life with Laura. I can’t believe there will never be another Proworld meeting with all of us together again. I will never go on another excursion with Laura Eliza and Lalo (OH ON I never said bye to Lalo!!) again. I have two more nights in my bed here in my mom’s house in Cusco… I’m sad. That’s all I can say. Why cant there just be a paradise where all the people I Love and need are within walking distance from me? Why do good byes have to exist?

Well, after many tears and many thoughts… If I had never come to Cusco I would never have met these people. I wouldn’t know about the greatness of proworld, I would never had made a difference in Occoruro. I would never have had these reflections and thoughts from these past 4 months. I wouldn’t be me. It is in my future to be me, and everything that happens in my life, good or bad, will allow me to be me, the person who is living this life.

Tomorrow I am off to Nazca and will be no internet for a few days. Next time I write I will be without Laura and without my mom.

No. Me. Digas.

The following is a real song that can be found on youtube (has over 14,000,000 views), and is quite supported by the tea party movement. It is entitled "Press 1 for English." Claro, it's a country song.

Now I'll speak very clear for you so there'll be no mistake.
My family fought and died protecting freedoms in these states.
Now we all welcome those who come but when you reach our shores,
Oh, you should speak our language, not the one you spoke before.
English is my language, it's the language of this land.
And every sign that's posted here I should understand.
I do not live in China, Mexico, no foreign place.
And English is the language of the United States.

Now, when listening to this and looking at these lyrics, I think one thing:

WTF!?!

These are the kind of thoughts I want to destroy!!! Why does it matter what language you speak in this world and where you live? If you speak one or five, why should it matter? Unfortunately, SO MANY Americans feel the same way as the sentiments in this song, and I'm sorry but that is disgusting. This is the United States of America. We are the land of the free and home of the brave. If you move all the way to the United States from a foreign country, you are braver than I could ever be, especially if you do not know English. And you are free here to do what you please, learn and speak what you like, and live how you want. That is what "America" stands by, right? Agreed, If you do not speak english and you move to the US, life may be hard for you, I get that. It would probably be easier to learn English. But you don't NEED to. It's not NECESSARY. What if you didn't have the opportunities or money to learn it? Or are waiting till you get to the US to learn it? There are so many other countries in this world that accept many languages, and have 3 or 4 official languages. And so many people from the US do NOT want that to be their fate. Many are too ignorant and lazy to learn a language. Many of them are far from open mined.

I just cant believe this. It makes me SO MAD.

Último fin de semana

So here are some highlights from this weekend, once again i think that my time is much better spent not at the computer.

-Last weekend in Occoruro. T'was a double weekend. on saturday they threw us a party with choclo, queso, habas, y un arblo de fiesta. We all took turns trying to chop down a tree with goodies tied on to the branches.
-Last night was the last saturday here for many, and out of all those with updated fb statuses (minus Laura and Erich) everyone was talking about how sad that was. And not to offend anyone at all, but that made me mad. How can going out, drinking, and listening to music be the only thing on your mind when you are in a underdeveloped country, learning of the culture, volunteering, and becoming one with a peruvian family? I feel like there are less and less people like me everyday.
-Sushi last night! Then i got sick from it.
-Today Andy and I went white water rafting. The other boys in the raft (who were all from Jerusulum... and spoke Hebrew the whole time) didn't want to be in front... so we were. We got SLAMMED with the waves, were in charge of the speed of the paddeling, and had a blast.

That's all for now! 2 days of school left....

No tiempo

Hey all. So this is our last full week of classes, and I'm spending as much time not at my computer as possible. The following topics i will be writing about when i return to the US, or i find wifi in a place that i will be waiting at for a long time.

-THE INCAN TRAIL!!!!!!!!!
-Religion: gold, god, and glory
-nuestro medio ambiente
- The last few days here in Cusco/our going away party.

-The last weekend in occururo
-returning
-our adventurs after the smester is over

Next week we have 2 days of classes, then on wednesday andy, myself and our friends Adam, Alyssa, y Maria are going to Nazca/Paracas for 4 or days, returning to cusco so i can say good buy, cry my eyes out when i have to leave my mom, and eat our last Juanitos and Bondiet goodies for a while. Then we are off to Liam and Iqitios which is in THE AMAZON.

I do have to say though, as excited I am for the summer, I am very VERY scared to return home. My host mom here is my best friend. I don't know what I'm going to do without her, her Love, and her home cooked food. Everyday she becomes more and more distraught over her daughter and boyfriend situation, and she is thinking he is going to take the house and her daughter and she will have nothing and her daughter will ruin her life. The friends I have made here do not live close to me, and not being able to see and talk to them, when we have spent almost every day with eachother since January... its going to be miserable. ¡Y no quiero perder mi español! Es más mejor que llegara aca en Perú. Me gusta much hablar en español, oir español en los canciones y comerciales y programens y peliculas, decir con la gente en la calle y los taxis. Me gusta todo la lingua. When i came back from Nicaragua, I was miserable. I hated the world, what i was doing with my life, United Statesians, the Unites Sates.... everything. I don't want that to happen again. I want to combine the life i live here with the good things i have found in the US. I want to live the sustainable life i need and crave. I want to share my adventures and live in the way i can. Yesterday, in our last development class before the final I asked the teacher to reiderate what shw had said to us the otherday "Profi, en mondays class you said that the only thing we can do with the information we have learned is just live or lives.... is there anything else?" This has been a question i ask myself over and over and over again. I feel helpless. I have seen these things, felt these feeling, and thought these thoughts that not many people in the world will every think feel or see. What can i do? I don't want to get involved in the economy, I don't wanna be the next president... All i can do is be the best spanish speaking traveling OT and show as much Love to people as i feel for them. Is that enough?

She wrote on the board:

Libertad ser auténtico
ser humano
mirarse en el otro y lo otro: RESPETO

Direct english trasnlation:
Liberty to be authentic
to be human
look at oneself en the other and the other: RESPECT

Not direct english translation that i made in my mind after asking her to explain this:
-As people who have been here, and have the opportunity to live in the United States, our liberty allows us to be authentic, to be an individual. There are others like me, i thought as i look at the majority of the class of United States students who had come to Perú to live. Be authentic. Be yourself.
-Be human. feel laugh cry hit love hurt question search teach breath praise learn live.......
-Do not look at "Them" as "them." We are all human. We all want to be human and live. See ourself in the other humans, and in the world around us, in our environment. Respect everything. Never look at something and say "thats not worth my time, or the time of anyone else"

Live how you know the world should be, and thats enough. For now.

Otro Vez

I know that I have already said this, but the biodiversity of Perú is something i don't think i will ever get over. This can been seen, yet again, in our adventures of the weekend and the past weekend.

Last weekend, we all hopped in a bus and went to Manu, a wildlife reserve about 5 hours east of Cusco. The bus trip took about 6.5 hours. Why do you ask? Well. about 2 or 2.5 hours into the trip, our bus almost skidded off the road. The roads in Perú are notoriously bad, but up until now i didn't really know why. Nooooooow i do. The roads that aren't paved, so the majority of the roads here, are made by workers who look at a mountian say, "Vamos a construir un carretera.... aca!" and then the do it. No math no engineering, just digging. So when buses carrying 30 some people drive onto this "road" and the collapse it or rocks fall off from the top, I'm not so surprised, and the Perúanos just build another road over the first road without really fixing anything at all. So when the bus driver sped through some mud and water that made us go skidding, and did that a few more times after that, i knew that true scare of roads in Perú. Gah. But anyway, past the times where the road cracked underneath us and we drove through waterfalls on the road and saw mudslides and what not, we arrived at Manu.

The area of Manu reserve we were in was a bosque de nubes, or cloud forest. It is at a very interesting spot below the top of the mountain and above the jungle where it is constantly in cloud, very very damp, and home to very interesting types of wild life. There is this one type of tree that grows around a host tree and eats it from the inside out as it grows over it. SO COOL. Our guide was Edward, a Princeton grad who signed up for a fellowship about sustainable agriculture. Yeah that was a lie when he was placed in the cloud forest for a year. But he was very very informative, and it was clear he was happy some american gringos under the age of 50 had come to spend time with him. He took us on two hikes over the course of the weekend and we saw a ton of everything. We walked on a canopy walkway over the tree line, drunk water from a waterfall. It was great. And cold and wet, but that was ok.

This weekend, me Andy Laura Erich Zack Matt Laura and Eliza with some of the gap year kids in Urubamba (good lord...they were something else....) climbed the Chicón glacier. It was a HARD hike. We started at maybe 1,000m above sea level, and at the top it was about 5,100m. It was harder and harder to breath with every step, and quite slippery a well. We walked through maybe 4 or 5 levels of vegetation. We started in almost a jungle, and ended with no vegetation at the top. Andy and I were the slowest people on the hike and we still got there 4 hours before the guide thought we would get there. At the top, it was cold, and we were tired, and we literally sat for 6 hours and looked out at the view. It was pretty spectacular. Andy and I went to bet at 630 in a tent about 10 meters from the rock and straw cabin where most all the other kids slept. They said it was cold and kinda smokey (the fireplace was right next to the window). Laura came to join us at 7 in our tent, and we went to sleep. At abot 1030, Laura woke up because our tent door was not closed all the way and she was getting rained on. We closed it, and realized that the rain/snow/hail mix outside was not gonna let up. At about midnight, water started leaking in from the sides, so Laura and I virtually spent the rest of the night in a puddle while Andy slept on to of a rock in the middle. It was not the most enjoyable night of sleep of my life.

at 545am we ran out of the tent, and Laura and i found some new clothes. I was a little cranky and cold and we hadn't eaten dinner the night before and then we started out to the actually glacier (we were about 2 hours away from it in the cabin). So we walked out into the sunny 630 am day with snow still on the ground, and i saw one of the best sights of my life. In front of us, for as far as the eye could see, were snow capped mountains. The were huge and grand and unexplainable. And so so glorioso. The hike to the glacier was cold and rocky, but seeing something that has been here for thousands of years was incredible. These next stats i stole from Laura so a nice applause to here for looking this up.

Peru is home to 70% of the tropical glaciers, aka the glaciers between the tropic of Cancer and Capricorn. The rate they are melting is quite alarming, and at this rate they will not exist within 5 to 10 years of today. I sat there looking at the Chicón glacier and thought to myself "When i come back here, this glacier may not be here" and once again was over come with the power of nature and being human and what human do to nature and everything. We had a fantastic class in Desarrollo about the relationship between nature and human yeasterday, but that is for another blog post. There are a far number of glacier lagoons at the bottom of Chicón, and you can see where the spots are that it is melting. There are people who make pilgrimages to Chicón for the hielo of the glacier. It is part of Apus, the mountain god, and it is very very sacred. I brought some for my mom and she was so happy. What happens when this glacier completely melts? People drink form the water that runs off it because it is SO pure and sacred. ¿Qúe va a pasar?

The hike down was VERY slippery, but not nearly as challenging as the way up. It rained for about an hour of the hike down, which is hated, but when we got into the bus and drove away, the sence of pride i had was wonderful.

On Tuesday, we concur el camino Inka as we hike our way to Machu Piccuh. Oh Perú, how i Love thee

PS i have tried to upload picture 5 times and it hasn't worked. Sorry!!

Se haciendo un ciudadano global

This is an incredibly jumbled post. i apologize.

One thing that I have learned here is that ignorance about the world is not an option. It is known by the world the the United States citizens had loads of confidence in their government, but they are not very involved. United Statsians are not involved because they think its boring, or they don't really want to add another thing to their to-do list, or they don't think their opinion will matter. Here in Peru, the people know that the government is pretty corrupt, and they don't have a ton of confidence in them, but they know that if they don't get involved and ignore whats going on, nothing good is going to happen. This amazes me. In 1920, not even 100 years ago, woman faught for their right to vote and have equal rights as their male equals. 30 or so years later the Native Americans of our country did the same thing. Fought for the right to vote and make decisions on their government, their democratic government. What happened to us? Where did our fiery passion go about rights and equality and liberty and justice for all? It seems that we know we have a good life, and that what needs to get done will get done, and we don't need to deal with it. In America Latina, the people don't get involved with politics because they could be killed if the opposing political party doesn't like them. This doesn't stop them from rioting, rallying, and making their voices be heard.

Today we watched a movie in our ciencias politicas that was incredibly thought provoking. It was about my favorite topic: good vs evil. This was about Columbia in the 80s and 90s, during the years of the drug lords. Se llama Los Dos Escobars, Andrés Escabar and Pablo Escabar, two very different people who fought for Columbia in two very different ways. Let's start with Pablo. He was one of the biggest most powerful drug lords of all time. He was in compleat control of the underworld by selling cocaine to the US and some other countries. He was involved with one of the most violent wars of all time as he tried to escape from the governments of Colombia and US. He killed hundreds of people, and when he died he left Columbia in ruin. However, in his mind, and kinda in reality, he was a Robin Hood. He grew up in a very poor town, and his family didn't have enough money to feed the whole family properly. He even said "We should take money from the rich and give to the poor." He got involved with drugs and started making quite a bit of money. He went around the country sides to all the horrendously poor towns buiding soccer fiends, because to Colombian and especially Pablo, futbol was the escape from the hard dark life they lead. Later in life, when a fire took over the homes of 400 families, he built them all homes. No one would listen to the poorest of the poor in Columbia, except Pablo. He got himslef into the house of representitives, but was later thrown out because of where he got his money from. Thats when the war began. Pablo stratigicly killed people in the government who had hurt drug lords in the past, and who were against his ideas. Finally with two other drug lords banding together with the help of the US governmnet, Pablo was killed, and the voices of the poor rang out to the world "With Pablo gone, what are we going to do?" and "Señor Presidante if you think the violence will stop because Pablo is gone... don't be naïve." As far as drug lords in history go, Pablo was not a terrible man. He gave all orders, and was in complete control of the underworld. Everyone had to come to him first before doing something illegal. When he died, UTTER CIAOS broke out in Columbia. And this is where Andrés Escorbar comes in. He was one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He played for the columbian national team in the greatest Columbian soccer years. He was a good man with a big heart who Loved his country and soccer. When the was broke out between Pablo and Columbia, he used his money and time to reach out to those kids in the campos. He and the rest of the Columbian soccer team reached out and showed the world that Columbia wasn't a bunch of drug crazed fiends. He and the team made their way to the world cup in 1994. Unfortunately, before they got there their soccer player was put into jail for visiting Pablo in jail, one of their teammate's 3 year old son was kidnapped, and when they lost their first game to Romania the whole team received death threats and they had to pull one of the starters or else their families bak home would be in serious trouble. In their last game against USA which they loss, Andrés made a goal on his own goalie accidentally. When the team returned to Columbia, the were no longer looked up too, and Pablo was dead. Andrés Escocobar was shot and killed at a disco a few weeks after returning form the world cup. He was shot by the body guard of 2 drug lords. Since Pablo wasn't there anymore to say what do to and what not to do, everyone did what they wanted and didn't think twice about it.

What had humanity come to in that moment? A young man who would do anything for his people, who had a fiance, who was the face of Columbia, and who made an honest mistake in a soccer game was killed without a thought. At these moments i really do feel like, Why do i even bother? Why don't i just get up and move to Alaska and leave the stupid people of Columbia to fight for their own. They made this miss and they need to get out out it. I don't care anymore. Well, in becoming a global citizen, you can't do that. You have to suck it up and keep trying to make this world a better place by staying informed and giving all you got. Leaving society is an option, but not if you want this world to change. Stop complaining and DO something.

As another step to becoming a global citizen, I have started listening to the news. I have the BBCs Global News iPod and CNN's 2 minute news updates. (If anyone has any other suggestions please let me know!) The CNNs are very unbiased, just what happened today in a few minutes. Sometimes the global news pods have stories that are fluff and sometimes the reporters curve the story, but I'm glad i know enough to realize when that happens. I also know that wehn i get back to the states and my netflix online starts working again i need to start watching documentaries, and when I'm done with the open veins of America Latina i have to read other books on the history of our world. I want to be a global citizan who is involved and who knows about what is happening , has happened and what will happen in the world we live in. Because there is only one of them, and if we don't understand and and accept what has happened... who knows what our future holds.

I got a letter from President Huddelston of UNH saying that the government is thinking of making a 45% budget cut for state funded schools. WHAT!?!?! In times of economic hardship, why in the wordd are the schools the first things to go? What kind of future are we giving the kids of America if programs are cut, teachers are fired or payed less, and they can't have the opportunity to learn how we learned. Andy and I have this conversation alot, about money and people and who needs what. Andy and I have had the privileged of being born into middle class families in the US, which is the richest of the rich in any país de American Latina. When we graduatate and get jobs, just by what our professions are we too will be middle class American. We had the opportunities as children to do ANYTHING, any sport, any musical intruments, becasue we were born into the world of oppurtunity. It is our job, our responsibility to give our money to those who don't have it, to those who were not born into our opportunity. We will have the money, and I live how i want to live, minimal and sustainable, what else am i going to do with the money? We need to support the programs of schools, and volunteer organizations, and health care for all because we have what hardly anyone else has Opportunity.

Sin Titulo

How easy it is to loose sight of what you believe in. To loose sight of your dreams.

The last few weeks here have not been my favorite for my time in Perú. First I was getting frustrated with my classes and the work and just wanting to get away from Cusco. Then I wanted to get away from some people during my spring break. Then I just wanted to go back to Occururo and volunteer, but of course that couldn’t happen because we needed to make up some Spanish classes we will be missing when we hike the incan trail. We only have three more times going to Occururo, and as much as I want to go I’m almost nervous because we haven’t been in SO long. All the community building we have done I feel wont be there when we return. I miss my families and wish that we could stay there more and get to know them deeply, no just on the surface.

My life in the US is not always what I want it to be. Being in college I have to do my work first and always. Being on the campus I have to eat in the dining hall. Being virtually jobless I cant do all I want and need to. Its hard to live how I imagine and how I really truly want to. Sometimes the college life and 21-year-old wants get infront of what I really need.

What I need in my life:

Food and Water

Clothes and Shoes

A roof over my head

My friends and family

My computer and internet

Good health

Love

Being here and also what I saw from Nicaragua I see what is really needed to live, what is needed to live with happiness, and what is too much. I want to live minimally. I want to help whoever I can whenever I can. I want to learn as much as possible and teach others if they want to learn. I want to make the world a free and open place for every soul the great power above has put on this earth. I want to reduce my carbon footprint and not kill this world that has given us so much. I want to Love every moment of my life. I want to live.

I picked ProWorld and Peru for a few reasons. No other study abroad program has projects like what we do in Occururo. Its hard to find a program that also has the opportunity to stay with a host family. Peru is rich with history, and has very clear Spanish. So far the experience with my host family has been absolutely wonderful, better than I could have ever hoped for. What I am learning in school is so valuable and interesting, although at time I hate going to class. My Spanish grammar teacher is awful, and I can’t stand that class. And it seems that ProWorld pushes the projects to the side when something else comes up. I would have gladly come back from Spring break early if it meant another project at Occururo. I would have made up my Spanish classes in the morning if it meant another project on Friday. I don’t want to go out every night. I want to meet people like me and I want to help the world.

Today and my best friend on this trip, Laura, had another wonderful conversation about life and desarrollo. We talked about everything in everyway, and she is one of those rare people like my Nicaraguan Gringos who believe in the power of people they have on the global community in which we have to make to keep this world a livable place. She believes that change is possible and like me will live her life helping those who can not help themselves. And step by step making our way to a sustainable life for all.

(I just want to make a note that I LOVE ProWorld and will use them for an internship or volunteer project again. All of the interns here world way more with the community tan we do. We need to go to school and stuff. ProWorld just needs to work on the semester programs volunteering part. All other aspects of ProWorld has been fabulous. Yay ProWorld!!!!)

Mi Mama falso, pero muy real

My host mother is one of the most amazing woman i have ever met in my entire 21 year existence. Pilar Maria Romana has had a hard life and still has the happiest most caring personality i have ever witnessed. Here is her story:

When she was 2, her parents decided they didn't want to raise her anymore, so they gave her to her grandparents. 4 years later after having 3 more kids, all boys, they decided they wanted her back again. So Pilar moved from her grandparents house in Cusco to Lima, to a family she hardly knew. A few years later her parents split up in a messy divorce, and she played mom to her brothers who were having a hard time with it. She was married to a man named Manuel in her early 20s and had her daughter Claudia. Pilar, Manuel and Claudia lived in Paraguay, Argentina I believe, and Venizuella whilst Claudia was growing up. Before Claudia finished high school, Pilar and Manuel separated. I'm not sure why, but my mom says that they were still friends after the divorce. Pilar and Claudia moved back to Lima where Claudia went to college and Pilar worked to support her daughter. This was during the Sendero Luminoso, the horrible terrorist group that wreaked havoc on Peru for 15 good years. She lived though the fear and uncertainty, and through the corrupt 10 year reign of Fugimori. Before Claudia could finish college, Pilar was diagnosed with cancer, i believe uterine, but I'm not sure. With not enough money for the operation, she asked her family, and the onlly person who gave her the money was her tio in the United States. It wasn't a gift, it was a loan. In order to pay him back Pilar and Claudia had to sell their home in Lima and move to Cusco, into the house of her grandparents which was a gift to Pilar, and didn't cost her anything. This past November, Manuel died very suddenly. Now, Claudia has a boyfriend who Pilar is very against. He doesn't have a job, mooches off of Claudia, is married but "seperated" and is very disrespectful to Pilar and her house. Claudia is a completely different person around Eduardo, and not a nice one. Pilar is beside herself. She can't stand to see her daughter like this. Claudia doesn't come home for lunch anymore, doesn't call her mom, and doesn't help her with anything anymore.

I look at her life, and wonder how she can still function. The Love Pilar has in her heart for the world, for her daughter and her pets, for her friends and family, and even for me, a gringa stranger from a completely different world. One day i walked in my house form school and there were two 25 Argentinian girls sitting at the table. I asked them how they new Pilar and they said they were in the market buying food and Pilar come up to help them negotiate the prices, and then invited them over for dinner before they leave to Ecuador. She studies Andian medicine and the religion of the Inkas, and she feels for everything in the world. The bond we have, the conversations we have had, and what we have taught each other... I have never had a relationship like this before. I have three more weeks with her, and that's it before i return to the united states. I know that we will see eachother again after this adventure, but when.... i have no idea. Every time i think about leaving her i start to cry, and i won't let myself think about that right now. Its too hard.

Her Love and passion for the world has helped me so much. I will never forget this woman. I Love her so much.

******UPDATE. So my moms ex husband cheated on her, and a few years later begged her back again, so she said ok one more try. And he cheated on her again. After that my mom filed for divorce, and no matter how many times he begged her to take him back, she never did. She knew that he deserved better than that. And the while Claudia and he stupid boyfriend thing right now... its spinning out of control. My mom says she has nevr been in so much pain before.

Los Colores

The number of colors and the types of colors that I have seen here are pretty unbelievable.

Cusco’s flag is the arcoiris, the rainbow because rainbows here are all but rare. Since the weather here changes in the blink of an eye (LITERALLY), the light reflecting off the rain happens easily, and in everyway possible. I have seen full rainbows, double rainbows, think and thin rainbows, rainbows without the BIV, rainbows with 13 different colors in it. Bright rainbows, dim rainbows, and rainbows where I swear I can walk to where it begins.

The sky as it set in the desert, when we were on the bus back from Mollendo, was the pinkest, orangest, yellowest sky I’ve seen yet, with bits of twilight settling in as it got darker outside. This was the same night as the closest moon to the earth in a while.

When the gray gray clouds finally part and the blue of the sky shows, the light blue is so free and clear I want to go swimming in it. I swear it is bluer and lighter than in the US. I can smell the brightness of the sky.

Orange, or at least shades of it, run wild and free. The peachy pinky color of lúcuma, the second most interesting fruit ever (next to guanabana) and my favorite, is the walls of San Blas. The roofs here, the ceramic half moon tiles on every house in Cusco scream with the burnt orange they own.

In the rainy season the grass on the mountains is so fresh and clean. Where ever I look it’s the same beautiful color. At night. the yellow and orange light from the houses scattered all over the city. From the plaza de armas it looks like its going to consume the valley.

The sky at dusk on a clear night, when the blue of the sky is in that perfect balance between real dark and swimmable blue, with the clouds reflecting the yellow sun as it sets behind the mountains, is a unique color that I don’t even want to try to explain. It was the color we saw tonight in our ciencias politicas clase when we were talking about what is democracy in America Latina. When we were talking about Guatemala’s inequality and Uruguay’s 89%. When we were thinking about the world we live in and trying to make since of this thing called politics, that seems to mean more to people in all countries that we know.

Costa, Celva, Sierra y Andies

The Biodiversity of Perú is something i don't think i will ever get over.

This last week we had spring break, and for the most part it was enjoyable. Some miss communication and flat out lying here and there, but good nonetheless. First we went to Arequipa, the second largest city in Peru. It's right in the middle of the sierra, so for once we were sweating and not shivering upon arrival. The sierra de Perú looks like rocks piled on top of rocks, shaped into mountains. And there's alot of them. It was a very starck contrast from Cusco, where virtually nothing is flat, to Arequipa where the rock/desert/mountains have large gaps in between each other, leading to a very flat looking city. Its very obvious upon arrival that not many tourists come here. Yes, they have to go through Arequipa to get to Colca Cañón, but not many choose to stay here for long periods of time. There were no vendadoras swarming around us with jewelry or pots or belts. The Plaza de Armas of Arequipa is gigantic, with tons of plant like thriving in the middle ofthe square. Unlike cusco, Arequipa is a very young city, only about 200 or so years old. Its not as rich with history, and therefore is without the cobblestone streets and clay roofs. Much more modern. The one piece of architecture that stood out to me was the white stone churches. Arequipa has three HUGE but dormant volcanoes. The rocks from the churches come from the volcanoes, and the whiteness of them is stunning. All the volcanoes are snow capped and they just take over everything.

Pichu Pichu and Misti

One of the many white stone churches

The next few days were spent in Colca Cañón, which at its deepest point is the deepest cañón in the world. Our tour guide Javier took us to many towns that reminded me of the floating islands of titicaca largo: they were there just to make money off of the tourists. I feel like that is the only reason some of these towns are still around. The tourists come, look, buy, and think they are really getting to know the Andian culture. The information that Javier gave us though was reall interesting. Did you know that condors sence when they are going to die, so just before the do they fly into the air and dive bomb down to the ground. What amazing birds, that can talk to the gods as well. We saw 4 of them in the cañón, as well as pachamama a few times over. The cañón was not what i expected at alllllll. I'm thinking ok Arequipa is the desert and the cañón is gonna look like the grad canyon ok cool. Nope. It is still used for agriculture and farming and there are cities so far down in the cañón i have no idea how they travel to anywhere else. Majestic i think is the right word.

Our condor friend

Here is a failed attempt at the majesty of Colca

Andy and I have both decided that when we come back to Perú, we will hike the cañón and climb a volcano. Just something more to look forward to :-)

On the way back from the green cañón, we saw snow. We drove through the snow and touched the snow. The brings me back to my first statement. The biodiversity of Perú, from the coast to the jungle to the desert to the two different zones in the Andian mountains, all within hours of eachother. The plant and animal life, and the culture of the people who live in these different regions is so dramatic its like your are traveling all of South America. Perú has EVERYTHING.

Um....

From Arequipa to Mollendo, the southern beach town, we traveled through the desert. The red mountainous desert that had snow capped mountains only a few hours drive away. The town of Mollendo was adorable. Very undiscovered by gringos, and i would like to keep it that way. The sun was bring and hot, the ocean was freeing with gigantic waves, the seafood was fabulous, and the ice cream was not very expensive. Walking on the beach and seeing all the different kinds of birds there were, and of course watching the sun set every night. It was so lindo.

Now, back in Cusco, i can say thta it feels like I'm home. I'm here in my house with my host mom who missed my and made me a huge breakfast to come home to. Andy and i have our favorite internet cafe we go to with great cake and chocolate caliente. We have a routine and plans and friends. Although I cannot wait for school and my internship to be OVER, I can't help but enjoy my life here.

Solamente un Pensamiento

My dad and uncle came to visit me last week. I think they enjoyed themselves. Moy host mom here took the three of us on a tour around the Cusco area (very pretty!) Most of the stuff, no all of the stuff i had already seen, but i did not mind at all seeing it again. They also went with us to Occoruro for our work. I think my dad had seen something that he has never experienced before. I'm not sure what my uncle thought, I only hope he made some reflections as well. The four of us went to Machu Piccuh on saturday onto sunday, and it was amazing. Everyday i fall in Love with the incans more and more. They built this city between two mountains, 8000 feet above sea level to be close to Apus, the god of the montañas. Pachamama is everywhere, from the miraposas to the pikaflores to the ruinas... and so much more. No picture in this world does the beauty of this place justice. When the group hikes the incan trail in a few weeks (3?!?!?!) I will talk about so much more. This is just a preview of the amazing stories i will have to come :-)

The best picture i have. Nothing can compare to seeing it

My Daddy!

This week was busy with tests, papers, our internship starting, my internet at my house failing, and oh yeah back home my back up room mate bailed on me, so i have to find a new one of those. YAY!

More on the internship later. Andy and i have the same one and.... There is alot to say about it

Andy, myself, Corey, Jennie, Kelsey, Karyn, and Caitlin are leaving in t-5 1/2 hours for our SPRING BREAK in Arequipa. We will be spending 2-3 days in the city then going to the BEACCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH. My only goals for this vacation is to speak as much spanish as possible and read "The Open Veins of Latin America" I'm 28 pages into it and hooked.

No i want to leave you with only an observation that i have made many times here. I'm still just thinking about, no conclusions or theories or none, only a though.

In my neighborhood, the water turns off at about 8 at night, so i normally fill up a glass of water in the morning and use it at night for washing my face and brushing my teeth. The observation: When i have a full glass, i use the full glass. When the glass is half full i use the half of it. When the glass has 1/8th, i use the 1/8th. I'm running low on shampoo. I'm using less than before. It still works just as well.

Hum.

Doble proyectos!

So friday and saturday was our first double project weekend. I think we have another one coming up (which hopefully will turn into a double project overnight!!) I greatly enjoyed going to Occoruoro twice, the main reason being Corey and I worked with one of the greatest families ever, Carmina and her two kids Mariluz y i can't spell the boys name I have to ask Corey. That's one of the many amazing things about relationships. Carmina doesn't remember our names all the time, but she knows what we look like and our personalities. The first stove Corey and I (dream team Wat!) built was for Carmina. She and her family all pitched in, and we talked and laughed and practiced words and she fed us both times. She is just so excited to be receiving all these benefits for her house and her family. She trusts that we know what we are doing, and does everything she can to help us.

Corey and hijo working on the fridge
Corey and fam! With our stove and fridge we made for them
Dream team what!

On Saturday, when we first started working on her refrigeradora ecológical, she felt aweful cause she didn't have barro bonito: basically her mud we used to make the stove was kinda chunky and not smooth, but it was still usable. We kept on reassuring her that the mub was fine and the refrigeradora would be built. About half way throuh out work, with her 7 year old sin helping us the whole time, she said "Las quiero" I Love you girls. Corey and I both didn't know what to say, so we just said "Tambien! Te queremos! Y tu familia!" Then she went on to explain how she was going to miss us and we should come back to visit next year when her whole house is all done and how much she Loved us... It was alot. It's just really amazing that Corey and I and her family are so close, and we (we is actually I, because Corey rocks at castiano) can barely communicate with eachother, and the fact that we haven't spent more that a day with her at a time.

Andy had the joy of experiencing one of my other favorite families. This family was also SO ready and excited to help us build their stove, and Andy and Jennie got to experience them by building the fridge andd talking with the family. Our Occoruro community is building, poco por poco.

I have been super SUPER good about nit comparing this trip to Nicaragua or Trinidad, but after this weekend (after some other evenet unfolded as well) I was just thinking about the difference of people in the city and in the country. Those city dewllers are usually a little more well off, a little faster paced, and a little more "developed" in the sence that the United States is "developed." Those in the country are more chill, poorer, more resoursful, and are that of the "underdeveloped" -ness. However, the personalities of these two groups of people are the really interesting one. Even those families who don't particularly like the fact that a bunch of 20 something year old gringos from the United States are helping them and volunteering in our communities, they respect us. They are hospitable and thankful and nice and really do all they can for us because we are helping them. In the city, those people who are not to keen on a bunch of 20something year old gringos are planning to mug them. In Nicaragua I lived with the people of the country for three whole days, and my eyes were completly opened to a new kind of people in this world, and these people are actually the majority

I had a talk with Señor Juan yesterday (he rents a space from my house here and owns one of the best restaurants ever) He said that no matter where you go, mountains seperate the rich form the poor. He gave an example about Lima, then cusco, then i though about how the apalachian region of the US is some of the poorest, and realized that this theory of Juanito's is actually pretty valid. Isn't that funny, how some of the most majestic landscaping of the world can completely separate two differnt kinds of culture and people?

To leave of this entry, I'm gonna leave you kids with a newsweek study involving United State-sians and the rest of the world. other developed and developing (no underdeveloped) countries were asked to say what words they associated most and didn't associate at all with United Statesians. Ready?

Words associated with USAinas:
Friendly
Energetic
Industrious
Inventive

Words not associated with USAians:
Sexy
Honest
Lazy
Sophisticated

What do you think of that?

UAU

WHAT a WEEK

Saturday= Andy and I went to the Qosco center for native arts for a dance show. The dance troupes did eight different kinds of traditional dances from 8 different regions of Perú. It was very fascinating and quite fun. We also went to Pachakutec monument (ummm.... if it wasn't already payed for i wouldn't have gone.) and STUDIED

Sunday= MATT's BIRTHDAY! And we spent the day playing tourists and traveling around the state of Cusco. First we went to a llama "zoo" where there were Llamas, Vicuñas, and Alpacas. Did you know these three animals had three lips, and are related to the camel? It's so cool! Then we went to Pisac, which have ruins ontop of a mountain, and you can see so much from the top. It was absolutely beautiful! It's one of those Corey Jay "I'm in South America." moments.


We stopped at the Pisac market, which tends to tourists and is increadably expensive, so of course everyone got something. After that We had lunch in Urubamba, and it was gooooood. There were some very interesting Macaw like birds there too.. Next on the list was Ollantaytambo. My host mom said that this city was made by Ollantay, a man who was in Love with Pachakutek (the most well known incan leader) daughter, but they could not marry because he was from a lower social class, so he moved and made this town and constructed an army to fight Cusco. Our tour guide said this was wrong, whatever. In Ollantaytabmbo is the BIGGEST templo del sol in Cusco, and it wasn't quite finished when the español took over los inca.

Only 1/4 of the temple This thing is huge.

ON the buss ride home, we were all talking about everything, when our guide started singing. He sang some Peruvian songs for us (they would be the equivalent to our "America the Beautiful" and "This land is my land") We sung for him the star spangled banner and some others, but then we decided to just play Spencer's iPod. We tried to play "American" songs, which included "Baby Got Back," "You've Lost That Lovin Feeling", and "Wouldn't It Be Nice." My good memory was discovered by everyone on this trip when i sung along to most of the songs that were played. One thing that I really learned from our Tour Guide was from one of the songs he sang. I don't knnw the name, but the meaning was that all American's are related, not just South American to South American and Nort American to North American. ALL Americans. How easy it is to loose sight of that though. South America is on the other side of teh hemisphere, they have countries that are under developed, and they speak a different language from those north of Mexico. But the fact is we are one. I am from the Us, and yes i am American, but no I am not just american, becasuse my host mom is American too. And whats even more interesting is "United State-sian" isn't a word. Hummm.

Monday= STUDY DAY. And a very good development class day.

Tuesday= first test in Spanish. On Ciencias Politicas. Good news though, both Andy and I passed! I also went to a travel agency today and booked Machu Piccu for my dad, my tio, andy and myself. Next weekend baby! Oh and this was was also the day everyone started getting sick. Let me tell you, a sunburn and a cold is one interesting combination.

Wednesday= Class ALLL day. For Art we went to the Cathedral of Cusco. And most of us disliked the venture, alot. Then we studied for Art test.

Thursday= Art test! We passed again!

Friday and Saturday= double project weekend. We went to Occoruro both days and comstruimos refrigeradores económicos. I have great stories that I will post in another blog. We just got back from day 2 and I am whiped. Plus ProWorld is throwing everyone who was born in February a b-day party tonight. Yay!

On Friday, Corey, Jennie, Laura, Erich, Kelsey, me and Andy went to see CHINO Y NACHO EN CONCERTO! They are one of my favorite reggaeton bands, and I discovered them whilst in Nicaragua. The concert had the opening band, Los Monkies, which are a RocKumbia band. I was thinking it was gonna be a joke, but they were really good, and apparently well known. Andy's downloading their album now. But Chino y Nacho, it was a tini bopper backstreet boys concert. SO many kids and SO much screaming, but i LOVED it. The best part was any time there was a hip gyration made by anyone, everyone went crazy. It was awesome. They danced too.

Chino y Nacho's most popular song, and my favorite, se llama "Mi Niña Bonita" (My beautiful girl)

This is my favorite part of the song, and it is because of the lyrics. Translated it means:

What I feel for you is tenderness and passion.
You have helped my realize that in my heart this is so much Love,
So much Love.

I was born for you, and you for me.
And now i know that dieing would be trying to live without your Love,
Without your Love.

My beautiful girl, my sweet princess,
When you kiss me, I am on cloud nine.
I could fly higher than the clouds,
With the smell of your hair by my side.

My beautiful girl, my shining star,
The phrase "I like you" is not enough.
That's why my lips say "I Love you."
Everyday we fall more and more in Love
Here there is Love
Here there is Love
Here, there is LOVE.

One of the many (MANY) things i have realized here is that Love is the SINGLE most important thing in the universe. If you have true Love, you have it all and you don't need anything else. Fight me if you will, but it's the truth. Part of me has always known this, but in the US, it can easily be labeled as "clique" or "stupid" or "gross" or "imposíble." But here, the singers sing of Love, pet names are expected, and people say it allllllll the time. Love what makes the world go round, and it is the only thing that makes human beings live.